9/9/14

I Shall Not Mourn Tomorrow

You're not aloud to die
That's my only stipulation
There is not a god in heaven
He's here within me and you…will…listen
I fear I have known more happiness
than you've ever allowed yourself
It's not fair that you've given your entire life
and rarely had the chance to receive
You're the person that's never sad when I'm sad
You kick me and make me get back on my feet
You're the one who's fought just to be there for me
And I cannot imagine you not being there
I want to give you a big yard to garden
I want to take you on a cruise
I want to see my toddlers helping you do the dishes
And you cannot go until I've gotten there
You'd tell me to stop fighting losing battles
That I'll always regret something with this attitude
That, ready or not, tomorrow is coming
And you won't always be around to remind me
So if I'm to choke on the truth, I will do it with style
I will be of the mind that you'll soon have
what I've always wanted for you
Though I've no way of knowing
And I fear I may never
I'll just keep swallowing
until I'm breathing belief
But please know that something will always be missing
A vacancy of life in a room I won't rent out again
And your little man shall prove wise and kind enough
to at least give you permission to go
I might even smile if you need me to
That's what love's all about in the end, I suppose
And I don't think anyone doubts what I mean when I say
I love you. It's just what I live with
It's what I don't want to live without
But we've no choice in the matter
So just promise me you'll be happy
And I shall make due with your memory
until I too am called home

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