The Blind Man Remembers

You shouldn't have to shoulder the blame
My heart would break without you
My heart is always breaking;
breaking for love that never was
The majority of my tears were cried
for those who couldn't care less
that I was crying
And I know that you, in your own small way,
have been better to me in that regard
Some days I went on living only because I knew
that sometimes I'd have you to hold;
however rare it was no longer matters
Had I died all those years ago,
it would have been you that I
died sunning my break beside
I was first to let us down
And you were the reason I rebuilt myself
All that having been said, I still
fear the coming years
As I've already mentioned, my heart
seems born to break
with or without good reason
There is so much hurt beneath this smile
And not all the love you could force yourself
to make with me would change
the fatal nature of the fall I'm falling
But, like small campfires, in my black
you burn
And when I finally do stop walking this wire,
you will be lighting the surface of my moon;
forever the brightest nights
of my little life
So I hope your mind will always remember
how easy it was for me to hold you,
while I could hold you,
long before I knew that someday
I'd find myself unable
to keep holding on (at all) to that lifeline
The sad fact is, bitter sweetness,
that it was always me
who hurt me the most
You were but a jewel that reflected
in my eyes for a time
In a sea of sun, you deserve to swim
In an ocean of shadows, I'm going to sink
But yes, I dearly loved seeing you sparkle
And no, I never stopped loving you
In all of this dreaming we've seen me do,
you were the only waking I ever cared for

1 comment:

  1. Your sense of longing is intoxicating. Here, a beautifully gentle, suggestive and vague nature to your words mirrors your sentiments and amplifies them seamlessly. The sense of longing in your writing is so authentically expressed...an impossible sentiment to genuinely convey unless it simply pours from within you and not easily grasped unless by kindred spirits. It is both haunting and exhilarating see the deepest aspects of my own nature expressed so flawlessly by another. In my own mind, the most incredibly fantastic yet subtle and natural worlds blend seamlessly together and create a place of deep understanding, subtle knowing and thus, calm, empathy and longing...perhaps too real to ever fully open to the world. What a wonderful feeling to recognize the existence of such a consciousness in another...how reassuring and how enticing.