Make It Enough

I wish I could open my life up to you
It is a terrible thing to wish
Yet such a shame that we are so limited in love
For, you see, lovers believe they have something
worth fighting for
But most days I see nothing more than the need to possess
-holding them together
Though I feel the need to experience more than I do
Life is hard living, swimming upstream
And you probably wouldn’t be any more understanding
of the emptiest parts of me
-Those parts you could fill, only because I don’t already have you
For once I had you, the tables would turn

The odds would feel familiar
The stakes would have been raised
The hand held would be another longshot
at the jackpot
And the man you’d want to fight for
would never be all the things that I know myself to be
You’d love a man who could love another
You’d love a man who still clings to love, once lost
And this, I am told to believe, is too much truth to take
But truth it, nonetheless, remains
This world I’ve known shuns those
who cannot love wholeheartedly
Still, the same sort of disgrace graces
those of us with too much love to give

And so it is…
I let the silence drown us
I let these gaze grow lonely
I let the fire die
For you do not understand what you’d ask of me
And once you began to ask
I’d lie as long as your love would let me
-Hoping each day that you might
actually love me in the end
-Knowing better in the darkest corner of my mind
The truth would come crashing down
You’d look in the mirror and think yourself a clown
And the joke that we’d be
would fail to make you laugh
So yes, I could love you
The fact is that I already do
I love you enough to not risk losing you
And the best way I know of to guarantee us that
is to never have you

And so it is…
I let the silence drown us
I let the gaze grow lonely
I let the fire die
But we shall find that much remains
alive and well
This way it is I who does most
of the hurting like hell
And you must make it enough
for you, and us, and me

Poetry from The Astrals by Shane Windham
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