Once I Have Wings

I will build my feathers with the hues of your hairs
I will sleep the sun away and soar as high as I am able
-pretending, all the while, that I’m swimming
in the atmosphere of your eyes
I will feed only on blood that’s as rich and as warm
as that which flows throughout your spider-web veins
And when those veins grow cold and short of breath
I will drink your death to the point of madness
I will have no home in places you’ve never been
I will shadow your dreams
-nothing but a piece of the background
-nothing but what I’ve let myself become
I will shake in the emptiness of your footprints
I will fly full speed toward the places they lead
-never able to catch you
-never knowing your heavy laughter and consuming touch
-no, never again
I will cry up at the rain when I see you wounded
-as though it somehow helped to heal you
-as though something heard me and cared enough to fix us
I will dive down, destroying a past which slows your stride
I will keep your name in mind
when the black pools beckon me under
But why?
It’s a question worth asking
And the pathetic weight of the answer is this:
You are the only hope I promised myself I wouldn’t lose
And they’ll bury me, saying I was crazy
Completely ignoring that I was only ever crazy for you
And those wings I speak of
won’t make a damn bit of difference
-not then
-not ever
But you were my most beautiful dream
And I was your dreamer while life was ours
Therefore, once I have wings,
you will find me as shamelessly in love with you
as ever, I was
-as always, I’ve been

Poetry from POETiCA by Shane Windham
E-book and paperback now on Amazon.com

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