Until Then

I’m leaving here today
-leaving you and this empty struggle in concrete jungles
I’m going home again
-any place that it’s considered okay to need an occasional cry
I’ll be rooting my mass by the nearest brook
I’ll be watching blue sky give way to blue stars
just to witness the reverse occur
I want to feel happier than any dream can make me
I want to scribble out the lines on life’s to-do list
-fall in love with a singer and write her a million melodies
too pretty for my voice to carry

I could stay here and never actually get ahead
Or I could leave this place which doesn’t want me to be what I am
Your eyes are on my side
But what you’re about to say will contradict their deep desire
I’m far too used to that
And it makes me feel like a machine
It makes me sad to see you trying to be one as well
You could accompany me beyond the edge of this flat plane
But I know you won’t
So consider me gone

I’m headed to a place where I can’t say the wrong thing
-some somewhere where lovers are not
confined to a single, disappointing pair
-where power doesn’t struggle to make us shamefully cruel
-that place where strangers brag
about how close to you they’ll end up becoming
You are all that’s made these years bearable
And I will always picture you as a quartz amongst the rough
I am surely going to miss you long before I miss anything else that’s been
But I can’t count on you to be my only source of smiles
What would become of me, if you weren’t here to give them?
How hard would it be for you to leave
when you stopped wanting to keep me content?
No, all I can do is erase my name from this page, from your ears
And hope that you will eventually follow me
wherever it is that I’ve gone

Poetry from POETiCA by Shane Windham
E-book and paperback now on Amazon.com

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