9/11/16

From What We Had To What We Have

Tonight found me alone,
watching the muted videotape of us at camp
that I charmed a teacher into copying for me
Oh, to go back before we came into our own
Were we ever really that young?

It sounds pathetic, I know,
but I could waste all of my time with our memories;
pretending I might get to once again be
me looking out for that little girl smile
The one that never failed to amaze me,
or bring me to tears
But this is the only way I ever see it now
Without you, this boy grows older
And I doubt you’d recognize, or like, the man

I went to that local festival we once ritualized,
like I’ve done every year since I lost you;
still expecting to see you standing in a spotlight,
or crying over a painting somewhere amid the art displays

And, though I could almost feel your embrace
with every circle I wandered,
(constantly fearing that I was only a slight step behind)
I eventually grew dizzy;
weakened by never finding the only ground
I have ever stood still upon

You should know that I’m still your anything;
still here in the place I can’t quit calling home
Still missing what I love,
and it’s never quite enough
So I fill these silences with deafening tears,
and every word I want to give you

This tape’s almost through with you;
I never will be
But I go ahead and stop it,
only to find myself left with the things I had to begin with;
my angel’s ageless smile,
and its undead regret

Poetry from Nevermore Forevermore by Shane Windham
E-book and paperback now on Amazon.com

No comments:

Post a Comment