9/5/16

Make Believe

Do not look at her
Do not acknowledge her
Just don't

I want to kill that girl
I want to break this bottle,
and watch him lick her blood off my chest

That dress is new
Her knees are clean
I can feel her eyes in my stomach

He’s only a text away,
and he smells like sex waiting to happen
There’s a private restroom back behind the bar

When I blink I must see her
I cannot disguise discarded honor
For I am hard just guessing the color of her underwear

If I leave, would he follow?
Would he pop my champagne top?
The ache built in my hips is alight

Remember how she hurt you
Remember that she fucked you
Or forgive her, and fuck her just as hard in return

What made me want to quit him?
What else could I have hoped to find?
Turn around and take me, I’m begging

The bar will soon be closing
My friends are beginning to leave
Of course now she catches me staring

I wish you knew what I was thinking
in this moment which sits between our eyes
But no, you get up to go, and leave me lost

I will spend days reliving her gaze
And, as I walk home among drunk drivers,
every voice in my head says turn around

Do not cry out to him
Do not betray the silence
Just don’t

Lust, oh what a lover
Love, oh what a feeling
Almost is what you turned me into

Kiss the city night lights
Hold the lifeless pillow
Regretful tears, I cook

I watch the future cooing,
but every time somebody beckons
part of me still hopes it is her

It doesn’t matter where I go
We are under the same sky,
and my immature wishes are still coming true

But maybe someday

One never knows

-Shane Windham & Holly Ann Sprabary

Poetry from The Astrals by Shane Windham
E-book and paperback now on Amazon.com

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