What’ll it be, Kid?
Whatever you serve should suffice.
Judging by your eyes, I’d say the best poison would be sleep.
Killer, you’re more than a ghost when I dream.
And here I thought that’d never be a bad thing.
Scotch then, if this is the way you want to play it.
Ice is nice. I’ll see that it’s crushed.
That spirit of yours was born to burn, I'll have you know.
And yet you’re still willing to pay.

Why, I wonder?
Come again?
Why do you call me Killer?
Same stupid reason you call me a damn kid.
Seriously though, I want to know.
Patience, missy. I’m not drunk enough to go believing you just yet.
Anything else I can get for you then?
Something strong enough to take us back in time, perhaps.
Glad to see what a lovely mood you’ve come in carrying.
What can I say? I’m angry.
And maybe I’m secretly angry as well.
Fuck your secrets. Who ever asked you to shut them away?
Wasn’t you.

Something we agree on, at least.
Guess I should enjoy it while I can.
Because soon enough this conversation will fall
to one insecure side again, I’m certain.
Pretty sure it already had.
Why the hell do you ever even cut in then?
Same stupid reason I purposely avoid saying what you want to hear,
even when I want to say it.
What reason could there possibly be?
Patience, mister. You’re not drunk enough to forget my truths just yet.
You make me want to forget sometimes.
Clearly. But am I-
Yes, you’re the only one.

We’re getting closer to 30, you know.
You say that like it means something.
Mean to tell me you don’t remember?
Oh, I remember. Just didn’t think it still mattered.
Not sure that it does.
See, this is what I’m talking about.
I simply like reminding myself that I remain second best.
You’re an idiot for believing that.
So prove me wrong. Better yet, don’t.
Be kind enough to pour me another.
Here, let me just join you with the bottle.
About damn time.

Why is it you never look at me now?
Kind of wanted to know that you’d notice.
You really have no idea how I feel, do you?
If I look in your eyes, I’m sure that I will.
Part of why you don’t?
Didn’t we already cover this?
It hurts me more when you refrain.
Says the person who’s rarely willing to respond.
Guess I have hopes of making it easier.
That drink deserves more than the hand-hold you’re giving it.
Chill the fuck out. My apologies.

Tell me you actually love him.
Every bit the same as you love her.
Do you ever wonder if we’re only-
Yep. All the goddamn time.
So remind me why we keep this up.
Hey, you had your answer before I even knew mine.
I can’t keep living with this grave potential.
Except you will do just that. And perhaps you have to.
Does that mean the window has finally closed?
Funny thing about windows is how they can always reopen.
It’s because I suspect you’ll be the death of me.
What are you talking about?

I waited my whole life for you.
Then you were there, and I couldn’t have you.
I was too proud to stop what I’d started.
Didn’t take you because I knew what it would mean.
Are you saying you were afraid of me?
Not at all. Just didn’t want to be the bad guy.
Sometimes that’s unavoidable in order to have what you need.
I wasn’t sure then you were what I needed.
A time and place for everything, save us in another lifetime.
I do not want another lifetime. Tired of seeing us waiting.
So look at me when you say that.
I would… if you were more than some ghost in my glass.

-Holly Ann Sprabary & Shane Windham

Poetry from A Bar in Brooklyn by Shane Windham
E-book and paperback coming spring of 2017

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